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“Only sometimes in a relationship they’ll say you can have sex for work but not outside of that. “When I started to date someone I thought it would be difficult, but people are all so open minded, most people don’t care about it,” he says. And it’s one he’s found surprisingly easy. Negotiating the ‘rules’ of a relationship is an issue that Dutch star Logan Moore has previously navigated. When you have to fuck for a living all the time that kind of gets blown apart.” Maybe you would decide to have an open relationship but it’s still within a certain framework. I think there’s a constant negotiation with people close to them, and society as a whole, about how their relationships develop and because it’s so out of the norm that we have. “One of the guys I spoke to said he was a very jealous type, which really surprised me. “One of the guys I spoke to said he was a very jealous type¨ Some people can’t get a relationship because of the job and some of them have not had a relationship for the whole duration of their porn careers. “Some people have difficulties with maintaining certain relationships. “It affects them in different ways,” he says. He’s hoping to get a better understanding of their psyche and look at how they deal with certain social interactions, and how porn impacts their relationships. What are you meant to do?” Filmmaker Maurizio von Trapp is putting together a documentary that explores the lives of gay porn actors outside of their work. It gets tiresome after a while, but then once you get passed that you just think ‘ok, well that’s how it is’. As a porn actor you just get used to it. The hand will wander when they put their arm around you, when they’re doing a photograph and all that sort of stuff. “There are those that would be all over you, be hands-on and squeeze your bum as you go away.
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“People just think that they can just go up and touch you or whatever,” says Ashley Ryder. For those who grow to obsess over and idolise certain actors, meeting them in person can be an exciting encounter where social conventions and personal boundaries are completely abandoned. The sexual and personal environment in which porn is watched means an entirely one-sided intimate relationship with the models is developed. If there’s any hint they’re only interested in him for his work he shuts down the conversation and moves away.īut it’s not just conversational etiquette that fans ignore. Gray is constantly wary of those who are only interested in him for his work and the erotic encounter he could supposedly fulfil. You can tell when somebody is genuinely interested in you and they see work as part of your life.” I intuitively can tell if somebody approaches me for the fantasy interaction with a porn actor. “It is a person integrated into my life, but there is a channel that is available to go through and that is not face-to-face personal contact. They talk to him like he’s on set, and expect him to play along. It’s a fact many die-hard fans forget even when Gray introduces himself using his real name they see him only through the prism of his porn, as Kayden. Whether they’re playing a dominant scally or a twunky teacher, when the cameras stop rolling so too do the personas they portray. Just as soap stars are often confused with their characters, the same is true of porn actors. If it’s someone who keeps talking about my work, who monopolises the conversation, then I actually get quite irate.” Gay Porn Stars : Kayden Gray “But then again I still find it a little uncomfortable when someone recognises me and then they stick to you while I’m trying to have a good time with my friends. “People do recognise me and it’s not often a bad experience it’s actually quite nice,” he says. Not all fans are quite so levelheaded though. When they’re respectful and polite it can be a gratifying ego boost, a reminder that people love his scenes (and him). While he doesn’t hit the London gay scene often, when he does he’ll normally find himself coming face-to-face with fans of his work. “I suppose like from the beginning of time, anyone that represents any visual aesthetics is going to be objectified,” says Gray.